Leave Me

It's amazing how much a short 5-min short film can affect you...

Thirsty?

I know Yosho is xxxtremely parched, anyone else?

Re: How to be creepy

Back in February, Jigg wrote an entry titled "How to be creepy". Yes, it was written awhile ago. I wanted to respond to it but totally forgot about it. It just popped into my head. Better late than never right? Anyway, there was one section in his entry that really stood out to me.

"If you're a guy and you like to chat with other guys online, I don't have a problem with that. I wouldn't assume that you're gay and it wouldn't matter if you are or not. But it's a bit inappropriate and creepy if you are and you try to flirt with me, clearly knowing that I'm not gay. I don't want to read/hear any graphic innuendos."

How could you write that and not put a disclaimer about me? I thought we had something special. We had that romantic date and we even shared a bed. I'm hurt, butthurt. It should say "But it's a bit inappropriate and creepy and you try to flirt with me, clearly knowing that I'm not gay UNLESS YOU'RE WUWU BECAUSE HE'S SPECIAL! <33333." I know for a fact that all you straight xanga boys love it when I flirt with you guys! Don't try to deny it.

While the damage has been done already, I'm more than willing to forgive and forget. If you edit your entry, consider it water under the bridge. In addition, I'll promise not to tell your fiancee about that incident in D.C., when we shared a bed. You know, when I accidentally brushed my hand (three times) against the small of your back during the night, or was it the big of your front? I forget.

Gay Fail

Sam, the Xangan formerly known as wherethefishlives, recently came out and he has already told his mom and snagged himself the perfect man. I, on the other hand, have been out for almost 5 years and have done neither. I really suck at being gay. I feel like a straight guy stuck in a gay man's body, an outcast among outcasts. I can't turn straight, yet I can't seem to get this gay thing straight. *sigh* what to do...what to do...

My New Crush

Since NDM went and got a gf, shattering my heart into a trillion pieces, I had to move on and find a new man to fill the void. I came across this hunk of a man on ThePseudoHousewife's xanga. It was love at first sight. His milkshake brought me to the yard and I'm so ready for his jelly. His body is definitely bootylicious enough for me. I've watched this video 50+ times and it still brings a smile to my face every time. That's love.

Do you guys think he could possibly be gay?

In other news, I'm finally all caught up with Dexter. OMFGBBQ at the season finale!! I already knew it was going to be crazy from everyone telling me, but I was still not prepared for that. 5 more months till Season 5. I can't wait that long. It needs to come out next week!

And the Award for Best Actor Goes To...

EDIT: This is not an April Fool's joke! If I'm lying, you can force me to have sex with a guy!

Exactly two years ago, I came out to everyone on Xanga. So I felt it was only appropriate for me to come clean today. I'm not gay. I'm just been playing a gay guy on Xanga for the past two years. I was playing this character so well that sometimes I wouldn't remember if I was actually gay or not. That's when I knew that I had to stop the charade. I decided to pretend to be gay for two reasons: as a social experiment and also to sleep with a lot of chicks on xanga. My plan worked so well. I've slept with so many chicks from xanga, chicks who wanted me to experiment with them. It was all too easy. As for the social experiment, I learned that everyone was very accepting of my sexuality, girls and guys alike.

It was a fun two years, but all good things must come to an end. It was a lot of hard work, pretending to be gay. I had to endure so much pain and disgust from pretending to hit on all these str8 xanga boys and flirting with them. That part I will not miss. But I will miss chicks throwing themselves at me. I feel a little guilty about lying to them though. Oh well, life goes on.

First Taste

Do you remember the first time you tasted cotton candy? Do you remember living life without a care in the world? Do you remember what it felt like to be happy?

Continue reading →

The Matchmaking Begins

So my mom called me last weekend. We had a rather interesting convo.

mom: do you have girlfriend or not?
me: no
mom: are you sure?
me: yes!
mom: judy's (her bff) friend have daughter who graduate from ucsd. i can set up date for you.
me: NO!!!!!!!!!!
mom: why not? she pretty
me: NOOO!!!!!!!! *hangs up*

It's such a defining moment in your life when your mom tries to set you up. It's something we all look forward to.

I should have responded, I'm not interested in her daughter, does she have a son?

The Best Alarm Clock

I have a very hard time getting up in the morning because I have a jacked up sleeping schedule and also because the idea of going to work isn't exactly boner inducing. To combat this, I have three types of alarms: my digital clock, my iPhone and my computer. I use this website called nakedalarmclock.com and I crank up my sound. I have 5.1 surround sound speakers on my computer, so it's very loud, sonic-boom loud. Lately, even with my arsenal of alarms, I still haven't been able to get up on time. I was late TWICE last week. That's really unacceptable. I guess I'm getting so used to my daily, monotonous routine that I sometimes turn them off and go back to sleep without knowing it. Or sometimes I kind of know, but I just want to go back to sleep.

I had to think of a new, revolutionary way to wake my narcoletpic ass up. I thought, and pondered, and mused about it for a week and I finally found a solution. And get this, it's F-R-E-E FREE. It hit me while I was drinking a cup of water. Why not drink a lot of water right before I sleep and my bladder will wake me up? Brilliant, I know. So I started experimenting with the amount of water to drink. If I drank 1 cup, it wasn't enough to wake me up. If I drink 3 cups, I would wake up too early. The magic number for me was 2. Before you go and try out my method tonight, I want to throw out a disclaimer. If you never conquered your bed wetting phase, I would not recommend you to try this out. Also, different people have different size bladders so you need to try out what's the right amount of water for you. I would say I have an average sized bladder.

Yes, I'm well aware of the fact that I could just go to bed early and wake up naturally on time, but that would be too boring. I'll save that for my senior citizen days.

So, how big is your bladder baby?

The Gay Rule

Extra, extra, read all about it.

EDIT: Yosho asks:
wut if both the dicks are under 4inches? draw straws?

That is an excellent question my friend. In that event, both guys go head to head in a dance off, like in zoolander. The loser will be the catcher.
P.S. Stop pretending it's a hypothetical question, we all know that you're asking for you and your bf. So, who's the lucky guy?