December 4, 2008
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Explosive
Explosive
My mom has a super power.
She has the power to piss me the fuck off.
If you know me IRL (in real life), you'd know that I'm a very chill, laid back, kinda guy. I don't get mad easily, and I simply hate HATE drama. I also make it a point to not make a big deal out of things. When I catch myself doing any of the above, I check myself and force myself to just let it go. Woo saaaaaaaaaahh! Usually, it takes a lot of piss me off, but when I do, you probably don't want to be around me.
My mom, on the other hand, is the complete polar opposite of me. She's incredibly stubborn, super paranoid, overly dramatic, makes mountains out of molehills, and she doesn't seem to understand the word "No." We're as different as night and day and we mesh as well as oil and water. Our relationship is very volatile and explosive. She has this power over me. With one look, one action, one simple sentence, she has the ability to break down all my barriers and unleash my inner rage. She seems to be able to push my buttons with such ease, it's scary. It makes me feel out of control. Why am I able to stay so calm and collected all the time, but completely lose it when I'm in her presence?
I'll illustrate an example. My mom swears by all these different types of Chinese soups she makes. She blindly believes that they are magical panaceas. She would probably tell you that her soups can grown back a limb. I, on the other hand, dislike Chinese soup and would rather not drink it. Especially since she tends to use chicken bone in her soups, and that contains a ton of cholesterol. Every time I see her, she asks me if I want soup. Of course I say no, but she always gets a bowl for me anyway. What's the point of asking me? Sometimes, when I really dislike the soup, or I'm very full, I'm very adamant about not drinking the soup. She's is very adamant about getting me to drink it, and thus, we clash. I know this sounds very dumb, but she is very relentless. She will keep nagging me non-stop, and sometimes, I will not give in. It's not really about the soup, it's the fact that I said "NO" and she won't listen. This may seem trivial, but the fact that she does this with many other things and she's been doing it to me my whole life, really gets under my skin.
I've tried woo saaaahhh with her, but it simply doesn't work. I need something more potent, but I have yet to find a solution. To be completely honest, if she wasn't my mom, I would not have her in my life. I know that is a very mean thing to say, but it's the truth. I'm very picky with the type of people I have in my life. Who wants toxic, unhealthy relationships?
But alas, she is my mom. She has done a lot for me and I must do everything in my power to make our relationship work. And I'm pretty sure she doesn't do these things to piss me off intentionally. It's just that we're such different people. This apple fell very very far from the tree. We're not even in the same garden anymore. Ever since I've moved out 9 years ago, our relationship has gotten a little bit better, but there's still a long way to go.
If you have a difficult parent, how do you deal?
EDIT: Apparently, PENIS is not appropriate for Xanga's frontpage.
Comments (58)
haha that's why i live on the other side of the country away from my parents
I'm really like that with my mom too. It's sad, really. You want things to be better, but it's damn hard.
I used to clash with my mother, too, and it was so difficult for me to talk back because my dad would then beat the crap out of me. Since I've moved out, over a decade ago, our relationship has gotten so much better. WHEW!
Parents will always force things on us because they will always always think they know so much more. Sometimes, it's just easier to relent.
what's an anger!
i moved away from my mom and now she doesn't give me shit cause she wants me home more often
how do u deal?
no clue.... its fact, she is yo mama. you can try to draw line, but to her... thare are no lines. you see her as a menice she still sees you as the lil boy that she need to care and keep in check all the time...
i
at the end of the day id dont matter cuz she is yo mama
we may see her different as we gett older but to her, u'll always be her lil boy who needs to be kept in check
goodluck w/ that. if u find an answer, be sure to let the rest of the world know.
the power of (older?) asian women...
I think a huge part is she still thinks of you as her baby and no matter what she's always going to think you need taking care of.
As an older sister I feel this way with my little brother and I know he hates me for always telling him what to do.
Sometimes it's just easier to say "Okay" and do it rather than waste your breath arguing.
@Mad_Bride -
That last part is true. Sometimes, there's just no winning the battle and not worth the stress about it. Normally, I'd suck it up, do whatever they're telling me to do and zone out at the same time.
I'm with you on this. I can't control my anger around my parents. THEY DO KNOW HOW TO PISS ME OFF.
Wow...you moved out when you were still in High School.
It's tough sometimes...can't change an old person.
I butt heads w/ my dad a lot. My mom I'm okay w/...my relationship w/ my mom has grew stronger, because I tell her stuff now.
My dad on the other hand is still and idiot.
Recently...he thinks dust on a car will cause it to rust haha
p-p-p-p-penis!
spend a lot of time away from her . . . like a few months. And then when you see her for one day, it will be tolerable.
my mom does the same thing. and i get the same way when i'm with my parents. hella chill with other people, but if it's my mom or dad, i'm more irritable.
how do i deal? fume for awhile with the music blasting in my ears.
actually i found out that any word that has 'ass' in it is also censored... "a**istant", "a**ociation", "a**imilate" etc.
chinese parents are like that. my mum doesn't force meto eat anything in particular, but she likes to jokingly complain to my relatives and her friends when i don't listen to her on minor things. "oh she's so picky about stuff and won't wear that t-shirt i bought her blah blah blah".
my mom is difficult at a times. she was never like this until like 5 years ago. there was drama, she changed and never been the same since. she's a paranoid, stubborn, arrogant, emotional wreck. i crazy. i just walk away when things start to spark and blast up the music before we start screaming like two crazy vietnamese bitches.
lol parents are always like that...hahaa I only get really pissed at my family HAHAHA but then again..that might be because I know they're family and they will put up with me infinitely (vice versa) lol
my mom and i are the same way
I wish my mom was still around to nag me.
Parents are difficult especially Asian parents. You just have to be patient and less stubborn when it comes to dealing with them.
your mom sounds like a mom, annoying as hell. haha.
how'd i deal with difficult moms? i shut them down. and then i move out. sadly, 3 years later, i'm moving back in
your solution...the haitian.
my mom is exactly like that with soups, dinner, fruits...you name it.
the relationship gets better when you don't live with them, no more nagging!
^__^ goodluck!
Duuhhh, of COURSE Asian soup cures everything! If it wasn't true, why would my grandma keep suggesting it to me whenever I'm sick, sore, or in pain?
Haha seriously I totally understand your pain, except for me it's w/ my grandma. Urgh...but that's a story for another time.
I understand that you do not like to drink Chinese soup or that sometimes, you're just too full. However, you have to understand that it's not just "soup" to your mother. You have pointed out already that she believes that the soup is very good for the health. If she wanted you to drink it, that means you wants you to have a good health, and that's good intention. I can see that she does not want to intentionally annoy you. On the other hand, she is doing what she thinks a caring and good mother would do. I can see that she loves you very much and she wants to you her love through the soup. And you also love your mom very much. Maybe you would feel less annoyed if you look at things from her perspective and ask yourself why she would insist in doing whatever she does. I believe that all (most) mothers want what is best for their children. Good luck with that!
I know the feeling...
does your mom also make a face when you don't drink the soup? ha my mom does.
Admit it, you miss her nagging when you are around non-nagging people for too long.
Every mum is like that. Your parents will always treat you like a baby.
you'll never learn to appreciate your parents until it's too late.. so just start appreciating.. one day you'll miss her nagging on you..
i'm not saying you're completely wrong in this case.. don't get it wrong.. but A LOT of times.. we just have to suck it up.. and do it..
my mom told me that i have a curfew last week.
i'm 22.
i looove my mommy! shes wonderful and i still live with her! love love love !
dude. it's not a super power unique to your mom. *all* Chinese moms have that power. but if they didn't love you and if you didn't love them, this wouldn't happen. it would just be silent indifference on both sides.
mom: "are you hungry?"
me: "no."
mom: "here, come eat this."
me: "no."
mom: "but it's good for you."
me: "maybe later"
mom: "but it's still warm right now."
me: "oh for heavens sake, fine!"
mom: "you know.. you shouldn't eat so much. you're getting fat."
me:
see.. typical.
It's gotten pretty good at being able to tone my mom's nagging voice out of my thoughts.
@dupe_1 - LOL arent all asian parents like that ? especially the Chinese moms
@phuck_diz_shiz -
hmm really? i thought other asians moms didn't give a crap about what their child ate...especially when they're over 21 already haha
like there was this one night, around 3 in the morning when i went downstairs for a cup of milk and a muffin. i insisted for a good 2 mins that i didn't want to warm up my milk, so she snatched my cup and warmed it up anyway.
@Yosho -
i thought another side of the county was far enough.
@AkikoKim -
relent...ignore. same difference. -= P
@ElusiveWords -
i'm sorry to hear that your mom is no longer with you.
@Nhi214 -
i read on your xanga that you're coming to LA? come visit me. =)
@Pnoiz1 -
LOL where can i find him?
@litefaerie87 -
i'll try to keep that in mind =)
@duckling8912 -
nope, she doesn't make a face and i will NEVER EVER miss it.
@eY_TooBad -
time to move out!
@cokeaddict -
haha your mom sounds worse than my mom. -= P
@wherethefishlives -
i have yet to master that.
Sounds a lot like my mom. I try to ignore her. =_=
@wutuwaitn4 - then you shouldn't complain.
Man, I have the same relationship with my mom.
This is so cute because maybe all Chinese mothers are the same. My mom is the exactly the same. She'll ask if I want some of the food she made, I'll say no with some reason attached and then she'll be back with the food. I used to get so frustrated that I'd throw a little fit but when my mom and I argue, it's crazy. I got her to stop with the food though... I stopped forcing myself to eat it by bringing it back to the kitchen and putting it in the fridge. And yet I feel like the ungrateful spoiled brat. Hm.. Mothers.
When my mom and I had a bad relationship, I used to just leave the house in conflict times. She was a real screamer, and she'd still be screaming for 30 minutes after whatever incident it was. She'd scream all the way to another room and scream from there. I'd go out and get into my car and drive away. She never knew until I came back. One time a neighbor asked who my mom was screaming at, as I was driving back up into the driveway. "Oh, me I guess I have another few minutes." and I drove away again.
Later, I'd come back into the house and make sure she heard me come in. She'd ask where I was and I'd tell her I left while she was screaming and hoped it made her feel better, and she always got a laugh at herself screaming by herself in the house. Somehow, that worked.
same issues with my mom. no doesn't make sense to her, so i just say yes cuz there's no way around it. i luv her but her way of life is so different from mines, since i grew up in america, and i honestly want to repay her for everything she did for me. other than that, i hope to not be around her so much if i can. we just argue.
the soup incident. I wonder if that's typical in chinese families.
my mother and grandparents give me the largest bowl of soup everyday and god, they DO NOT understand what's meant by FULL. they say "soup doesn't make you full" hahah yeah right. makes you so full and fat.
OMG! When I was younger, my mom does the exactly same thing. She would ask me if I want soup, I say no, she would bring me a bowl anyways. I repeat to her again, "I don't want any soup, mom". Then she starts with this whole theory about all the good things that the bowl of soup would do to my body. Then she continues on with telling me all my flaws, negative "chi's", just anything that's bad with me and says that if I had drank more soup, then I wouldn't have any of those . . . what the heck???!!! Yeah, what's up with chinese soups??????
I can so relate. Chinese moms are like that.
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