December 3, 2008
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Excuse Me Sir Are You Staring At My Penis
Excuse Me Sir, Are You Staring At My Penis?
Last week, I went to a pretty small Chinese restaurant for dinner. It wasn't exactly hole-in-the-wall small, but definitely not a great idea to go there with a large group. I've been there on several occasions before. While the food here is sub par at best, it's really close to my place. Convenience and laziness always seems to win over my desire to travel further to have Chinese food of superior quality. I placed my usual order of Ma Pow Tofu, Lemon Chicken, and Walnut w/ Shrimp and proceeded to the restroom to take a leak.
The bathroom wasn't exactly squeaky clean, but it's not too shabby compared to most Asian restaurants. There were two urinals, side by side with no divider in between. Don't you just hate those? You get no privacy at all! Well, it's good when I'm peeing next to a hot guy. But other than that specific occasion, urinals with no dividers suck ass. So I was peeing merrily, whistling the tune from Giligan's Island, minding my own business, when an old white man enters the restroom. He didn't look creepy at all, clean shaven, and dressed to impress. I thought nothing of it when he started peeing in the urinal just a few inches away from mine.
Mid-pee, my sixth sense started tingling. You know how you can sometimes feel when a person is staring at you? I looked to my left, and lo and behold, the man was staring at my penis! He wasn't trying to sneak a peak. He was blatantly staring at my love toy with no shame at all.
"Uh...Excuse me sir, but are you staring at my penis?"
While STILL staring at my penis, he replied..."No, not at all son."
WHAT THE H to the E to the DOUBLE HOCKEY STICKS? I mean I can't really blame him for staring. Who wouldn't want to catch a glimpse of this sexiness? But dude, do it with more tact. I quickly finished up, gave it two quick shakes, zipped up, and ran out the door. I didn't even remember to wash my hands because I was still a little shaken up. As I sat back down on my table, I saw the old man come out of the bathroom and walked out of the restaurant. I stared at him the whole time, but not once did he look at me.
I was about to tell my friend what happened, but the Lemon Chicken came out and I totally forgot about the whole thing.
Comments (66)
and you still didn't wash your hands. ew.
Did he bring his magnifying glass with him too?
Its also bad when your so tall you can see over the urinal wall of seperation.
You should have pissed on his shoes.
One time I was in a restroom and the guy next to me finished pissing before me. And being a guy you know, sometimes you get the shakes when squeezing out that last drop. Well this fucker was having a full on epileptic seizure. Toes tapping, body shaking, eyes rolling back, he even grunted LOUD...after a couple seconds, he just washes up and leaves like nothing happened. I on the other hand was disturbed beyond words.
He got the yellow fever--OW OW OW, go Wuwu!
@Mr_Jin -
no, i should have peed on his face! but i was scared that he might be into water sports.
did you pee with all your might? i remember in an older entry, you pee your hardest/loudest to make sure everyone in there knows who's boss. =P
how dare him.... you're mines
wouldn't your natural reaction to be to look at HIS man junk? "If you're gonna look at mine. I'm gonna look at yours"
not that I would do that or anything... cause it'd be gay. you know. *cough*
@MaximMan -
you really need to get yourself some cough drops buddy.
Watersports...LOL, you should have R. Kelly'd his ass!!!
you know he's no on prop 8
haha
no dividers means going into the stalls and peeing all over the seat cover cuz you dgaf
say "take a picture, it lasts longer"
then see what happens
i LOVE mabo tofu <3
your story reminds me of
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Gfy-mDUQl0
And you forgot to wash your hands. D:
I loveeee ma por tofu!! Yummy <3
Eww... you didn't wash your hands. X( You should've piss on the guy or stare at his penis.
HAHAHA...you always have funny stories.
And you don't even need to try hard.
I know someone that wants to look at your love toy.
HAHAHAAA!!
Keep the dirty stories, but please keep your hands clean!
Haha, nice...no one looks at my penis =[
well, except for me. and this hot guy who lives in the mirror.
Maybe you missed him staring at a little bug over the urinal you're peeing in.
@Yosho -
HAHAHAHA. Messed up.
lemon chicken has the tendency to do that...
so why ARE asian restaurants so lax about restroom cleanliness??? Hey, tell him he can look at my dick anytime.
You should have peed into his food before he came out.
why is it always the old white dudes?
yellow fever, yo.
this old buk yun tried to seduce my guy friend in a public bathroom. gross.
You Didn't wash your hands. Ewwwww That's the last time I'm holding your hand
Last time my guy friend was doing his business at the urinal and an employee started to give him a shoulder massage in the middle of his business. So weird!!!
lol sounds like that sh!thole bathroom at SW...
I was in a bathroom where the urinals were near by the door. When the door opens, you feel the swing of the door and at the same time, you may possibly got eye contact with the hot girls coming to the female bathroom.
@MaximMan -
cause he's an old man! i don't want to see no old man's junk!
@yumejuju -
i have some way dirtier stories to tell in the future. they're so dirty that you're going to want to wash your hands after reading.
@Goose_Nickelic -
awww i'd totally look at your penis if you were peeing next to me.
@youniversl -
ok, i'll tell him the next time i run into him in the bathroom.
@niez_cho -
nope, i'm 100% sure he was staring at my schlong. we had penis to eye contact.
@deux02 -
it may or may not have been SW.
he was probably in shock...haha
haha what a perv. you guys have it bad with the whole urinal situation, but lucky cause you can just whip it out and pee anywhere. sometimes i wish i were a man..for that very reason.
hahah, maybe he's senile and thought he was looking at his own penis.
Maybe he was a penis talent scout
well at least he wasn't snicering . . . right?
snickering*
'h to the e to double hockey sticks'--took me a few reads to get that!
@Hippononeemous -
of course not!!!
at least he didn't try to poke it with a stick or something!
u know what's the worst? the long trough-like urinals at baseball stadiums.
HHHHHHAHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA~!
lol poor u
i had no idea guys hv to go thru this..
LOL...really awkward situation..but damnit boy...WASH YOUR HANDS NEXT TIME!
omg i love lemon chicken and mapo tofu!!!!!!! mMMMMmmm
@J_Damask - LOL! That's exactly what I was thinking.
You can always tell if the architect was a guy or a girl based on whether or not there is a buffer urinal.
People usually don't stare at me while I piss. However, I find it weird that men use urinals...I mean, what's the point? Just standing their groping your penis for the whole world to see. It's like...so unpractical, but perhaps cost-efficient to companies who don't need to build stalls.
haha, what I'm about to say may sound really strange, but: It'd be nice if I could pee right next to you. hahaha =P I'm sure you wouldn't mind me looking at your man junk in all its sexiness; and, maybe, perhaps we could perform even more interesting activities while we're doing our business.
He must have been staring at something paralyzingly shocking...good or bad, who knows. I hope good, since he got caught. X(
i hate white people with asian fetishes.
wow... thats funny... but weird at the same time, especially that it was an old guy.
haha, hearing this story reinforces my habit to turn slightly to the side when peeing in open urinals like that.
XDDD.
I can't wait for the chance to do to someone else what that guy did to you.
That's hilarious.
@Pearls_of_Trust -
what activities? please elaborate.
@Roadlesstaken -
what if you were in the middle urinal, where there were guys on both sides? what are you gonna do then?
@Mr_Jin - My God, that disturbed me just reading about it.
Oh goodness. I'm still a little grossed out about the lack of hand-washing, but somewhat understandable considering the circumstance.
Kind of makes me curious now.
@wutuwaitn4 -
Oh easy; 1)go to one of the stalls or 2) wait until one person leaves. Basically, the middle is not an option. I think it says that somewhere in the urinal rules book haha.
eww creepy old man. =S
i don't know what it likes to have people staring at your penis coz i don't have one. next time, be careful. put a nice sweater and sunglasses on it so it's gonna be cozy and safe, and then pet it and you're ready to go.
Oh., and wash your hand
omg, walnut with shrimp is something i can only get in cali. i wish we had that here. mmmmm...
and i hope he wasn't staring at it cause it was like so abnormally small or anything..
@wutuwaitn4 -
Elaboration is not needed in this case because it's quite self-explanatory. lol
Comments are closed.