January 27, 2009
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Horseback Riding: Not as Romantic as it Seems
I went horseback riding for the first time last weekend. I enjoy riding things, so when my friend suggested it, I took her up on her offer. Besides, horseback riding looks so romantic in the movies, what do I have to lose right? WRONG!
Don't get me wrong, it was enjoyable at times, but it's definitely not what I expected. And it definitely was not romantic. I would not suggest this activity for a first date, especially if your date has never ridden a horse before.
The smell: When I first arrived at the stable, the stench was horrendous. The pungent smell of horse urine blasted a ha-do-ken at my nostrils. Luckily, the horse itself wasn't as smelly. I also saw a horse peeing in the stable. Now I know how the expression "hung like a horse" came about. He must've pissed out at least 10 gallons.
The height: Horses are much bigger than I thought. I'm not afraid of heights, but when you're actually on top of one, it's kinda scary at first. I screamed like a little biatch the first time she galloped.
The dust: This is not all trails obviously, but my trail was super dusty. Most of the trail was on dry, dusty dirt. I had black boogers at the end of the ride. If I ever go horseback riding again, I would definitely choose a beach trail or something.
The crotch pain: This was definitely the worse out of the four. The saddle on my horse was super hard. Every time she galloped, even just a bit, my crotch would bounce up and down against the hard saddle. Not a very pleasant sensation to feel, unless you're into S&M. My horse kept wanting to run, even though she was suppose to be a tame, mellow stable horse. I would constantly have to pull the reins for her to slow down or stop. One time, when we were going up a hill, I pulled the reins and she got pissed off and kicked. That scared the shit out of me. Now I know why they named my horse Princess. Here's a tip: don't get a horse with a high maintenance name.
If my four bullet points have not scared you off, I do suggest you try it if you've never been before. It's an experience. Just wear another paid of underwear for extra crotch cushioning.
Comments (23)
why don't you let the horse ride you next time, it could be quite an experience
@Yosho -
I heard you tried that last month. I guess it must've been a fun experience for you since you're recommending it to me.
@wutuwaitn4 - well your sister was a little bit feisty, but i tamed her pretty good by the end
@Yosho -
Oh shit...BURN.
I think horses can differentiate between novice riders and experienced riders.
I wanna go horse riding. But I hate heights, haha.
My sister and I went horseback riding for the first time on our recent cruise to the Mexican Riviera. I forgot my sister's horse' name, but mine was Chorizo. As soon as the guy told me that, my eyes scanned the horse and ended up at the horse'....Chorizo. My horse was pretty chill, except it was a biter. It would always bite a horse in it's ass if one were near. My sister's horse tried to run away with her on it and they both ended up off the trail and into some bushy area where her horse was eating all the leaves. No joke about the dust. I blew my nose a good amount of times before I got all the dust out of there. Overall, it was a fun experience and next time I ride, I'll be sure to wrap a bandana around my face. Oh yeah, my eggs got scrambled, too. -___-
Lol @ Yosho and wuwu. =P
Yeah... I figured horseback riding for dudes isn't all that pleasant, especially when first learning. Maybe next time, have someone else sit in front and take all the impact while your crotch hits their ass. ^__^
I guess doing it on a horse is out of the question.
where are actual the bullet points? i count zero and not four.
@michinyon -
or the girl (or guy) will feel like the other person is a beast. especially at when the horse is at a gallop. like a turbo booster charge. or a jet pack ....
@michinyon -
that might be possible. the guy rides the horse, and the girl rides the guy. it's like a sex food chain.
@wutuwaitn4 -
Well, that brought up a pretty vivid image in my head haha.
Yeaa, even before you mention those points I kind of guessed at that last point as to why I wouldn't wanna ride a horse. No thanks to that pain!
You've just sucked the romance out of that one.
=P
So... did horse-back riding leave you neutered or only a bit tender??
Are there any other supposedly romantic activities you'd like to debunk?
= ]
Call it research for your future hubby.
up the butt with them stirrups
crotch pain, that bring back "fond" memory, lol.
i always wondered why in the old days it was the *women* who rode side saddle....
you rode a female one...no wonder....hahahahahaa
wear a cup
experience the same shit in Mexico.. at least the pictures made me look cool.
extra padding, gotcha
I've ridden a horse a couple of times. You're right. It's not as comfortable and romantic as it looks. It also requires more work than in the movies. You don't just sit on the saddle. I like horseback riding, though, but no galloping.
lol!!! ahahahahaha
My horse was short, retarded, and kept trying to sit down. It wasn't nearly as thrilling.
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