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  • Shitty Contact

    Shitty Contact: FML^2When I got back from my East Coast tour, I had to take a mega-shit. I've been eating non-stop during the whole trip, and I think I only pooped twice in the duration of the 7 days. It's not that I did…

  • My Dad Has More Facebook Friends Than Me. FMLA few weeks ago, I got a friend request from my dad. Of course I clicked "Ignore." I'm more than happy that my dad has embraced the whole Web 2.0 Social Networking movement, b…

  • Evolution at It's Best-The Asian Squat

    Evolution at It's Best: The Asian Squat I spent the first 6 years of my life in China. This meant that picking my nose in public, eating dogs for breakfast, and squatting to poop on a hole in the ground were all part …

  • colon spasms

    colon spasms every once in awhile, i have these violent spasms in my colon. it's definitely not something i look forward to. in fact, i dread it more than getting a paper cut on my eye. whenever i get these spasms, it…

  • NY in a nutshell: north face & pigeon poop i'm back from NY. it was so fun. i only wished i had more than 3.5 days there. the first observation i made about new yorkers is their obsession with north face. are the…

  • oh normal poop, how i miss thee EDIT: oh shit, i had solid poop today! it came out in the shape of a heart too. weird huh? anyway, i'm so happy that i'm going to frame that shit! the cruise was a lot of fun. it was d…

  • balls of fury...freedom for the first time in my life, i went commando for a whole week. if i were to die tomorrow, i can say that "i, wuwu, went commando for a whole week." seriously, i want someone to mention that…

  • the perfect way to start the day i was peacefully sleeping, most likely dreaming about rolling around naked in fluffy cotton candy, when the sound of paws scratching against my bedroom door abruptly woke me up. …

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