October 29, 2009

  • Screw You 24-Hour Fitness!

    I've had my 24-Hour membership for 3.5 years, but I haven't gone in 3 years. I'm paying $36 a month so that's over $1200 down the drain. I kept on telling myself I would go next week, but the weeks turned into months and the months turned into years. I finally went into the gym the other day, not to work out, but to cancel my membership.

    There was an episode of Friends where Chandler tried to cancel his membership but got persuaded not to from a hot female employee. So Ross goes down to the gym to help him out, but he ended up getting a gym membership of his own, from that same hot female employee. While this might be a slight exageration, gyms are known to be very persuasive, and they do hire hot people.

    While I was sitting, waiting for the Membership Manager, I kept thinking to myself...don't be a hot korean, don't be a hot korean, don't be a hot korean, I should've masturbated before I came here, don't be a hot korean.

    After waiting for about 5 minutes, the manager was finally ready to see me. The second I saw his face, I knew I was fucked (and not in a good way). Mr. David Choi was so hot. When he shook my hands with this firm but gentle grip, I almost jizzed in my panties. He looked like a hybrid between Daniel Henney and Wentworth Miller. *swoons*

    David: Hey Mr. ____, can I call you John?
    Me: *thinks to myself: you can call me whatever you like baby* Yea
    David: Why do you want to cancel your membership? We have many...

    I'm not exactly sure what he said after that. I just started daydreaming about us getting all hot and sweaty from working out and then going to the locker room to take a shower. When I snapped back into reality, not only did I not cancel my membership, I had sign up for a personal trainer. FML!

    So screw you 24-hour fitness....for hiring such hot people to steal our money!

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